


Pitter-Patter

by AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Depression, Lost Love, M/M, Memories, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk/pseuds/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk
Summary: "The thoughts would come with the rain and leave when the sun arose, but Zexion would never forget."





	Pitter-Patter

He could never control his thoughts when it rained. Nor could he deny that each one was focused on one man.

“Demyx…” Zexion whispered softly, his voice the only sound filling the silence settled throughout his apartment.

His thoughts always followed the pattern of the rain: slow-coming and inconsistent when drizzling, heavy and uncontrollable when pouring. As Zexion gazed out at the dreary scene on the other side of his window, memories, images, and dreams would rush so unbearably through his mind.

Standing in the heavy rain, being held, kissed…

Coming home, drenched, offering a shining smile regardless…

Zexion had never been one to reminisce, but he’d found it far less painful than to recall those days than to dwell on how they were now.

_“You can’t take anything seriously!”_

_“You never act like you even care! Not about me, not about work, not about living at all! How’s that for ‘being serious’?”_

_“Get out!”_

He couldn’t help his apathetical outlook, just like he knew Demyx couldn’t help his immaturity. It was just how they were, and that realization alone made Zexion’s heart fall as hard as the rain outside.

Zexion couldn’t shake the image of the only person he’d exposed his heart to packing up a bag, grabbing his sitar, and walking away through the rain.

That memory on its own was enough to make Zexion shut the blinds and lamely sulk away.

He could still hear the soft _pitter-patter_ of the rain in the distance as he opened the top drawer under his bathroom sink. Soon enough, he heard only the uneven beat of his empty heart, the _pitter-patter_ of his blood splashing into the sink overpowering that of the rain.

Zexion liked to think that when he’d die, he’d be in the rain. Nothing else would matter so long as he was there, in the midst of the downpour. Some days he’d plan on calling Demyx or even having him be there to watch him fall, watch the already-dimming lights fade out from behind his eyes.

Then he’d realize Demyx wouldn’t want to be there, even if it meant he'd see the man who broke his heart and kicked him out finally get what he deserved.

Demyx was too good of a person to find any form of sick, sadistic pleasure in that, Zexion was sure.

He thought of all the possibilities of that moment often, but particularly when he heard the first few raindrops fall before a storm.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Zexion always wished Demyx would tell him. He missed the time they'd had together, and his whole being ached when he remembered any of it.

Every night he’d collapse into his tangled sheets, his heartbeat following the rhythm of the rain as he dreamt of _him_. Tears that used to be painfully out-of-character for him would slide down his cheeks, just like the rain on the glass of his window.

The thoughts would come with the rain and leave when the sun arose, but Zexion would never forget.

 

**FIN.**


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